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Hi Pashun,

I wanted to write on your blog just to commend you for your wicked wicked writing and the fact that you harness your sexual choices and drive those choices in a way that is so freaking awesome and powerful! I really respect the fact that you are so open and creative in your erotica – I love it!

Although I’m not a BDSMer, or swinger or poly, just a boring ole’ straighty, you have given me the confidence to write about my own feelings about sex and my sexual choices – I hope this is ok? My sexual experiences seem to be the topic of many a conversation and I think your blog here will give me a “safe” space to write about how a) your example helps me to discuss openly my sexuality and b) just  a chance to get shit off my chest.

So basically, as a Muslim Indo-Bangladeshi – born and brought up here in the UK – sex – forget sex even LOOKING at a boy was considered sinful and blasphemous and anything else that would incur the wrath of God. The hardest thing as a teen was probably repressing my curiosity about a boy’s touch, how they feel and all that.

It wasn’t a surprise that I lost my virginity relatively “late” as compared to I suppose the vast majority of non-Muslim young women. But boy – since then, I have discovered that a ) I enjoy sex and b) I’m pretty good at it ( I swear I’m not bragging here!).  The thing that seems to garner all the attention however from so called “friends” is not whether I have a liberating, enjoyable, satisfying and SAFE sex life, no; what garners all the commentary is that all my sex partners have been black men.  To me I pay no fucking attention to sexual fetishisation of racial groups.  The fact is, most of my sexual partners have been black men because that’s just the way it is. I don’t step out of my yard in the morning with my antennae on high alert for black cock: it is NOT a conscious deliberate targetting. It just so happens a black cock falls into my brown pum every now and then! Man – that felt good just to say it like that! I have been accused by black girlfriends of targetting black men because I want to prove my sexual prowess. I am accused by the few asian girlfriends I have that I am trying to prove a point by constantly dating/sexing non-Asian men. Blah fucking blah – the abuse is constant and perjorative. 

As a Muslim of course – the MISconception is that all Muslim women are virgins at marriage and that our sex lives must be robotic and purely for the purposes of pro-creation. While conservative Muslims (much like conservative Christians and Jews and anyone else believe that sex before marriage is a sin and should be prohibited ideall until after marriage), there are plenty of Islamic hadith (sayings of the Prophet) which encouraged a satisfying sex life between husband and wife. In

several hadith, he speaks about the importance of foreplay. In another hadith, he advises husbands that enable a woman to achieve orgasm first.

Sexual dissatisfaction is even considered legitimate grounds for divorce on

the

part of either wife or husband!!

I think the misconception is that all Muslim women in particular are repressed and sexually unfulfilled downtrodden baby making machines. Its a joke and I am by no means advocating all Muslim women throw off “the shackles of their virginity and go out and bang anything that moves,” but I do want it to be known that just because I, as a Muslim have had sex and have a fulfilling sex life, that does NOT make me an evil sinner who deserves stoning to death.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your blog which gives a safe space for someone like me to share my story.

One love!
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