New Cock

I am celibate, I have not had sex for quite a while.

Those that are close to me fully understand why I am not in search of “New Cock”.

New Cock is hard to find. Why?, because I want a man at the end of it!

I just don’t want a walking, talking cock, I’ve had that before. I want a man with a brain, a sense of adventure and of a course a glorious cock.

I was told that I am asking for too much, that I will never find all of that in one man, that perhaps I should date a range of men to fulfill all of my sexual needs:

Mr Big Dick – to fuck me as when and needed

Mr Sensitivity – for long conversations and debate

Mr Fetish – freaky, kinky sex

Mr BiHomoHet- a mix of bisexual, homosexual and heterosexual

Ok so that’s four men so far, this is turning into an orgy, I need to date four men just to get off? This is complicated. I just want some good sex, is that wrong?

Should I just pick up some random and fuck him silly. I did once, it had been almost 3 years, without sex, it was crazy, suddenly everything looked phallic. I’d walk past Big Ben on my way to work and think: I need a big cock.

One hot sunny afternoon, I bought an ice-cream and sat on a bench licking it. A woman opposite me walked over and asked if she could join me.

Opposite Woman: You are horny

Me: What?

Opposite Woman: I said you are horny

Me: I heard what you said, how do you know

Opposite Woman: You are giving that ice-cream oral sex

Me: Is it that obvious?

Opposite Woman: Yes

Me: I just want some dick

Opposite Woman: Me too, I can’t take it anymore

Me: I broke my fifth vibrator, my fifth

Opposite Woman: Let’s jump on those two blokes over there

Me: Nah, not my type

Opposite Woman: Not mine either

Me: So what you do? You know to ease the frustration

Opposite Woman: I chat a lot online, I have cybersex

Me: Hmm, me too lots of it, but it is not the same as real cock

Opposite Woman: Should we just try women with a strap on?

Me: Why not? Best of both worlds really

Opposite Woman: Shit, is that the time?

Me: Yep, back to the grind

Opposite Woman: No nice men where you work?

Me: All married

Opposite Woman: Married men are kinky, they are gagging for it

Me: We need to chat again.