I really thought about whether having a break from blogging is what I want, it is and it isn’t, as I said in my previous blog post Vanilla Land has me really busy right now. But my blog is approaching the 3 year mark, I owe it to myself to continue, as I feel that I still have plenty to say even if it is not on a regular basis.
One of the questions I have always wanted to ask is, “Are some men intimidated by sexually confident black women?”, I say this because I had my first negative comment from a man about my blog last week. It was with regards to my blog post Dutty Pastor, I know that not everyone will like what I write, but it got me thinking and replying to the comment.
A few years ago, I had a preacher man reading my blog, I’ve written about him before and he would send me emails telling me that I was going to hell for what I write and that I should repent…yet he read my blog repeatedly for a long time. I’ve had men ask me if writing about sex tires me out, and how much of my blog is true and question the number of men I’ve “fucked”. All I can say is, these stupid double standards suck, it’s alright for a man to fuck who he wants and the numbers are irrelevant.
My love of fetish and porn is often a turn on for some, but when they get to really know me, the questions start coming, “Have you really fucked men with your strap on?”, “Have you slept with a woman, have you had group sex, have you tried double penetration…?”
The list of questions, is never-ending, why because I guess, I’m a kinky, black and proud woman who blogs about fetish and sex. For a while, I lived through my blog, and my blog entries were more like sexual fantasies, yet I’ve had the opportunity to make some of those fantasies reality. I took the sim card out of my “Sexual Exploration” phone, simply because I’m no longer playing, my being in a committed relationship has a lot to do with that.
Three years of blogging has taught me so much about my sexuality, the perceptions of black women as sexual beings. In my Sexual Exploration phase, I tried almost everything that I had on my sexual bucket list, the only things I have left to cross off are (and I think they shall remain on the list):
Menage a trois with two black men
Strap on sex with a woman
Pegging a white guy
Fucking an asian guy’s arse and wanking his cock
Watching gay men have sex
My sexual fantasies are a way of tapping into what excites me, I love watching porn for the very same reason. I’ve watched sexual orgies, black women fucking white men with strap ons, butches and femmes, transmen, fetish, interracial, cuckolds and big cocks. Afterwards, I play with my clit, if I’m really horny, I use my thick realistic cock vibrator and my butt plug.
I reflect on the emails and the chats that I used to have with a few of my readers, one in particular stands out. This guy has this fantasy in his head of what I’m all about he wants to put me in a sling at a sex club and watch me getting fucked by a group of mature black men, while his wife sits on my face and tells me to eat her pussy.
Should I have been exchanging emails with this man? Was I turned on when he told me that his wife likes to fuck other women with her strap on?
I suppose as a sex blogger, having someone wank off to your stories is a huge head rush, well for me it is, there’s a blog reader I based some of my fetish stories on. He used to get his cock out at lunch time and read my Black Women, White men blog post. Strange? No, not at all. Once he wanked on cam for me, he had a huge cock, I used to watch him, with his hand going back and forth and he would not come, until I said he could.
Sexual fantasy keeps me writing, it makes me want to write more books, One Night of Pashun, my first book was a taste of things to come. I want to write more about black swingers, black women and fetish, moreover BDSM. My alter ego Mistress Black has enabled me to embrace my inner kink. When I wear leather, lace, latex, fishnets, corsets and fuck me boots, my whole persona changes, I love to fuck whilst wearing my boots. Have you ever eaten pussy or sucked cock with your boots on? Or have you received a blowjob from someone with boots on?
There is something seriously sexy about a black woman who goes out there, explores and finds out who she is sexually. For me I had several issues about whether my approach was right or wrong, I’m over it now, my theory is this, we have one life and to live it with regrets makes no sense.
